Why Everyone Gets Depressed + How to Find Relief

[dropcap custom_class=”whbr”]Today I wanted to talk about depression. If you’ve been triggered by the fact that I said everyone gets depressed, then I understand the nature of depression can be clinical and I won’t be talking to that space because I don’t know enough about the chemical imbalance in the brain – I will be interviewing amazing women who do know all about that in the coming weeks.[/dropcap]

[pullquote align=”left” style=”style4″ width=”381″ size=”14″ line_height=”18″ bg_color=”#ffffff” txt_color=”#222222″][blockquote custom_class=”” txt_color=”#222222″ size=”25″ line_height=”32″]I’m talking to the person that has bad days, enough where you have asked the question? Do I suffer from depression?[/blockquote][/pullquote]
I do want to talk about the people that suffer bad days, moments, like a fog that comes and feels too heavy to move. Everything feels like an effort, getting out of bed is a feat and getting distracted helps to keep going. Some days it sneaks up unexpectedly and movement seems like an impossibility, even though it’s really the one that that will help but the hardest step to take. So, this post is really talking to the person that has bad days, enough where you have asked the question? Do I suffer from depression?

My understanding of depression comes from my own experience and learnings I’ve gained through my life. Depression is exactly as the word says ‘de-pression’, it’s the pressurizing down of something and that something is emotion. So let’s talk about the liver where it’s believed a lot of that emotion sits. The Chinese call the liver the king of all our organs. It balances our hormones, cleans our blood amongst many other things and the Chinese believe that the liver is the part of us that holds and manages the emotion of anger. So, if you think about the liver and the expression ‘she was livid’ – you can see how we used to connect it to anger by our language. The liver also holds our sense of direction and if you think about the energy behind anger, it’s a truly powerful part of us. The liver also can be impacted by the environment, the chemicals around us, this irritation can start to impact our emotions as it struggles to filter and clean us up.

Now let’s talk about anger. Why do we get angry? I believe it happens when we are not getting what we want or when something is taken from us. We are allowed to feel emotions remember but it’s HOW we express those emotions. How do you move it outwards in a way that doesn’t hurt others or yourself? I will talk about that in my tips later. In any case, when we DON’T move it and we decide that it’s better to push it down for whatever reason, then there is that foggy dark heavy thing that happens – I call it depression.

[blockquote custom_class=”” txt_color=”” size=”25″ line_height=””]Move from Depression to Expression.[/blockquote]

Let’s explore some helpful tools to get relief when you are feeling depressed or down:
(Full brief & instructions in Podcast)


What Are You Not Getting?

Write on a piece of paper ‘I’m not getting …. and finish the sentence
Writing will allow you to access your subconscious and to access your beliefs, see what comes up. THEN sit with the feeling of what it is, just breath and allow it.

And that brings me to the next step. Step number two is to feel it.
Allow it to move up and out. If you don’t understand it, that is okay – this is a feeling process.

You have created a safe space to feel, bathe in that.


Is it Yours?

Yes, your sadness, depression, grief can belong to someone else. I do sessions with people and I’m highly empathic, so I absorb a lot of people’s energy in order to understand and help them. I now know how to check in whether it’s mine or not. So always ask the question ‘Is this mine or that angry person I was with today’ and then do a process to clear it (if you don’t know don’t worry it never hurts to do this as we pick up lots of little things around us during the day). The process looks like this:

Sit quietly and shut your eyes.
Imagine a white/blue light coming through the crown of your head and ask the light to fill your body and clear anything that does not belong to you.
Breathe and imagine it is clearing. Say:
‘Please clear anything that doesn’t belong to me right now’
Then open your eyes.
Get a sage stick, burn some around your body and home/office.
Ring a bell (it breaks any stagnant or bad energy in your body and home etc.)
Take a shower (you should always shower after being at work)


Express Yourself

My poem below describes the process I experienced after I sat down to write a poem about how I was feeling. There is no better way than to change your mood and get relief than to express yourself – sing, write, draw, cook, paint – whatever it takes.

‘Depression to Expression’


Sometimes when I wake up my neck is in so much pain
I feel my anger fill my body with no-where to go.

I long for peace of mind and yet the power is in my own grasp.
As I reach for an explanation, an answer and a solution – I feel slight relief.
The depression is as it says, I am pushing down something inside.
This time it’s a deep part of myself.
A part that wants to be seen, to be visible and to be recognised.

I ask for what? What do I want to be seen for?
Am I loved, am I okay and am I accepted?
That old beliefs I built my idea of self from, plays on a loop,
I can sense the fear.

It’s easy to be a victim.
The responsibility is over somewhere else
– youth, parents, God, universe or yourself
– yes that other part I don’t like.

What does it take to be responsible? I ask myself.
The word ‘alone’ pops up and I feel like I’ve lost my chance
then I realise as the thought emerges that it’s not true.
The ego will do anything to keep you in fear and lack.
The words that flow as I write, heal the very heart of my pain
and I am truly inspired to share the power of self-expression.

When you feel stuck as I did when I started writing this,
you can feel released and inspired minutes later.
The anger at myself runs deep and unless I let it speak,
it becomes a fog that haunts me silently
and it sits out of the light so it’s harder to spot.
When we express our truth, the light turns on
and the unseen is free.

Scarlett Vespa

Scarlett’s passion is branding and how to help people shape their personal or business brand to be future-proof. Her 25 year+ experience in advertising and branding working as Head of Broadcast for CBA and creating work for businesses such as Westfield, Westpac, David Jones, AMP, White Ribbon, Bonds and many more, gives her a vast knowledge on how to help individuals and businesses face an ever-changing landscape.

Scarlett’s other passion is to empower women at work and holds a yearly event called the ‘Mrs V Shift’ at the Langham Sydney, with over 25 speakers on how build your best self. She also loves to create videos, blogs, podcasts on all things educational, innovative and inspirational.

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